Leaving Him Behind
by spiritmind675
Summary: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend. Can Jomy move on after the death of Soldier Blue? Mentions BluexJomy, hints at LeoxJomy. Don't like, don't read.


**A?N: BluexJomy mentions ahead! Don't like, leave now. Otherwise enjoy!**

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A few words of encouragement, a few smiles of respect, all meant to make things easier. To say ' great job, you can do it, we believe in you.' But none the same as his. The meaning was the same, as well as the intent, but they didn't have the effect of his. Love so different from his own; never quite enough. Every word he spoke, every smile he gave, every hug, every kiss, was far more precious than I could put in to words. Almost more than Terra.

Terra...

The word brought in more thoughts.

That's my goal; everyone's, really. His dream, passed to others. His memories left to me, so that I may take everyone there. A lot of the time it's his thoughts and his strength that cause me to get up from his bed.

His bed.

His room.

His people.

His dream.

I could never replace him. Didn't plan to, never did, never tried, never will. I can only follow in his footsteps.

Hearing someone enter, I look up to find Leo walking over. He smiled sympathetically, and I realized he must have heard my thoughts, even from across the ship. Perfect...

"Something wrong, Soldier?"

I relaxed, leaning against the wall once more. "Jomy." I corrected automatically, partially annoyed. "And no, nothing."

"Please don't lie Jomy." Leo frowned. At my silence, he added, "You know you can tell me."

"I don't want to..." I answered quietly.

"Why not?" Leo asked, stung.

I shrugged. Leo, always by my side, just as loyal to me as he was to Blue. I really wasn't trying to brush him off, but it was better than pushing my problems on him, hoping he could fix them when, in reality, he probably couldn't. "I just..." I planned to tell him just that, really. But seeing his concerned hazel eyes made me switch track. "It's hard..." I mumbled, hoping a few answers would be enough for him to leave.

Leo felt a fleeting wave of sorrow not his own. "Do you wish to talk?" When I only shrugged, he added, "It'll help."

Leo waited patiently as I sighed, reluctant to speak. "I'm no good at this." I finally said quietly.

Puzzled, Leo tilted his head. "At talking...?"  
I shook my head, a faint smile tugging at my lips. "At being Soldier."

"Jomy, that's not true-"  
"You'd all be better off with Blue leading, and I took that away." I said bitterly. It was true, even if it wasn't quite what was on my mind.

"Jomy, you've done all you can, no one expects anything more." He stepped forward and rested his hand on my shoulder, only for me to walk away and shake him off.

"I've made mistakes." I said, frowning. "Things that could've been avoided." Perhaps a little longer, then he'd go. I was getting too close to the truth, to the guilt...

"Everyone makes mistakes." Leo answered softly. "Even Blue."

I raised an eyebrow. "I doubt that. It's my fault he's dead."

I instantly regretted saying those words. I could read the grief in his expression. He blamed himself, I knew that. He always believed if he had done better, gotten me to safety, then things would be better. I didn't want him to argue, to feel worse, so I cut across him before he could begin. "I-I miss him..."

It took a moment for me to realize I'd blurted out the truth; to feel the ache that set in.

Hazel eyes widened slightly and he hesitated a moment before saying, "We all do Jomy."

I only shook my head, turning away. "You don't understand." I didn't want to cry - not now. But the tears stung at my eyes anyway.

"What Jomy? What don't I understand?" he demanded suddenly.

I faced him, startled; he suddenly sounded livid, "Leo-?"  
He glared, cutting me off. "What is there to not understand? Stop trying to play the tragic hero! You're not the only one who thinks he's at fault Jomy!"

I was speechless...there was nothing I could say to that. I'd never seen Leo get this upset, and in a way it hurt. "Leo...I-I'm sorry..."

Leo glared for a second more, then sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. "I'm sorry too...I shouldn't have yelled. I know how sensitive the subject is." When he looked up his gaze was almost pleading. "But what don't I understand?"

I knew that he just wanted to help - to know what he was missing to do so. "Let's say someone important to you, someone you loved, risked everything for you...and died." I started quietly. "Let's say that they've left you with a job, and you can't turn it down, even knowing you can't quite reach their standards...and then having it eat at you that you won't see them again, and that you helped cause that..." I could feel myself shaking slightly. "That even if you do your job, they still won't be there, that you-you..." I turned away, unable to continue, trying in vain to hide the tears.

There was silence. I wasn't sure what to think. I didn't want to see Leo's expression; afraid of what I might find. I never heard him as he approached. But, then again, I wasn't exactly paying attention. I figured, once he got his answer, he'd leave. But as he wrapped his arms around me, I was relieved he hadn't.

"Don't cry, Jomy." he murmured softly. He knew I couldn't help it though; I needed to vent. And when the pain seemed slightly overwhelming he obviously picked up on it because he added, "'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.'"

I mulled that over for a moment, letting it sink in, and did manage a faint smile.

"Blue's not the only one who cared for you." He pressed, smiling gently. "I'm here, and I always will be. I'll always care."

I was silent for a moment, contemplating his words of consolation. There was something in them that suggested that he was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't quite fathom what it was.

"Better?"

I glanced up, startled out of my reprieve to see hazel eyes gentle once more, and nodded.

His gentle smile didn't falter. "Just don't forget that I'm always around if you need me, Jomy." He said, turning around.

"Wait..." I called out, making him pause and glance back. "Don't go...I..." I hesitated, "I need you now..."  
For a brief span of time he looked surprised, I could feel my face warm and sort of wished I hadn't said anything.

That too passed as Leo turned back all the way, smiling gently once again. He stepped forward, walking towards the bed, pausing only once to gesture at me to follow.

As soon as I was close enough I found myself pulled in to another hug, him leaning against the headboard, and I against him. I felt fingers running through my hair and smiled, realizing just how much I missed the warmth of another.

It wasn't Blue but...

It was enough.

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**A/N: Obviously mentions BluexJomy, hints at LeoxJomy.**  
**The quote: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." is by Dr. Seuss. One of my friends sent it to me after I finished watching the Toward the Terra series and was sooo bummed(still am at times)...**  
**So yeah, I hope someone out there liked it, please comment, just let me know what you thought, it'd really be appreciated^_^**  
**The title is Leaving Him Behind because in a way that's what Jomy's doing , not so much leaving Blue behind, but moving on.**


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